The One When I Found Out

A MOTHER'S DAY SPECIAL...

DISCLAIMER:
These stories are inspired by Felicia’s colorful 2017. If the reader prefers, the short stories/blogs or parts of it may be regarded as fiction. But as Ernest Hemingway said, there is always the chance that fiction may throw some light on what has been regarded as fact.

It's May 2017. My fiance, John Smith lives just two hours away from me. I have not seen him since  the weekend of Valentine's 2017. His excuse is the same as the previous 6 months or so.  He is busy with his high-power stressful job, his PhD program, and he has his 17-year old son, David every weekend.  Since then, it was all daily texting, a once-a week FaceTime  and 1-800FLOWERS.com. 
I believed every excuse. I called it trust. Now I realize, it’s somewhere in between willful blindness and just plain foolish.
I tried not to make any demands. I thought it would be inconsiderate and selfish of me to, especially because he also keeps mentioning (actually, just texting) his sister who passed away a year and a half ago. However, sometimes, I just could not hide my pain. There were times that I was indifferent. I ignored his outreach, only because I felt hurt, and maybe, just maybe,  he’ll get hurt right back and be that man I fell in love with. 

The night of Mother's Day weekend, his daughter, Nadine who is back home from college posted, "My dad's new girlfriend is here. Get me outta here! I hate her already!" My 17- year old daughter, Samantha saw Nadine’s post. She was both confused and surprised. She asked me about it and I did not know what to say. After all, we were all in Vermont on a family ski trip 3 months ago. Who and why would he bring home another woman so soon to a home we used to share almost every other weekend in the last 4 years? It must be a prank posting, or I hoped it was.
The next morning, I texted Nadine who I have a very good relationship with. Our conversation eventually led to the beginning of a very emotionally traumatic experience of my life. (I’m not being overly dramatic. There’s more to this, just stay tuned.)
A few minutes after my conversation with Nadine, my door bell rang. Our cleaning lady shows up at my door and says " Happy Mother's Day! Surprise, I'm your gift from John!"
To be Continued...

Or flashback to 5 years ago...

The One With My 1st Weekend in Hartford

John and I started going out late summer of 2012. He came up to Boston, or we met somewhere halfway between Hartford and Boston. It was usually dinner and movies, accompanied by the average getting-to-know-each-other conversations in the early phase of dating. I knew I was out of practice, but thought that after 7 dates, there will be a little bit more than a gentle kiss when it’s time to say goodbye. He seems a bit shy, but I also thought he was such a gentleman. It was not until December when we finally decided that we were “dating.” Yes, it took 5 months and 7 dates! After all, we lived 2 hours apart, so it took us a while to decide if this was worth investing our time in. At least, that is how I felt.
This day, 5 years ago, I posted 
‘Getting ready for a special weekend…” on Facebook. 
For the first time since our relationship became “official," I will be spending the weekend in John’s house in Connecticut. After all, the last 2 weekends, he drove up to Boston to come see me. He usually stays at a hotel since we just started dating, and I had not introduced him yet to my children. 

I  have not introduced any man to my children since we moved here in 2003. Samantha was just 3 years old and Bryan was 8 at that time. I was a happy and content single mom, and my children have always been my priority. I was very careful and I waited for the right time… for the right person.
I rode with a friend who was driving to Springfield, Massachusetts where I got dropped off. I was so excited to see John getting off his car, and then walking towards me. He looked so handsome sporting a new hair cut with that sharp line up, standing 5 ft. 10in tall in his lint-free black wool coat. He took my bag, opened the door for me and gave me a kiss just before I sat in the passenger seat of his car. The drive was smooth despite some icy roads. We drove by a school where he used to be the administrator at. How impressive is that! We talked and talked until we reached our destination. There was no awkward silence at all. I felt very comfortable. As we left the main streets and entered this quiet suburban neighborhood north of Hartford, I remember seeing some Christmas trees still waiting to be picked up on the sidewalk. I was expecting to see a small house, perhaps a unit in a multi-family home. After all, he is a bachelor and he told me he was just renting a place because it’s close to work. I was surprised as we drove by a 100-foot long circular driveway in front of a two-story,3-bedroom house surrounded by snow covered pine trees. We went in and walked towards the den. I finally got to see this "man-cave" where he took a video of himself singing “Good Riddance/Time of Your Life” by Green Day as he played his guitar for me. He made baked salmon on salad for dinner. It was delicious! We sang songs all night using his karaoke app on his Ipad. I can tell he was impressed that I can somehow sing, and even more impressed that I was singing songs he loves to listen to. It was a wonderful night. The next morning, I woke up to bacon, eggs and the most perfect pancakes! It certainly made me feel special. I said to myself, “Thank God, I waited!”

Fast forward to October 2017… 
Five months after John's daughter Nadine posted the "My dad's new girlfriend is here. Get me outta here. I hate her!" on social media I learned that…
 … in the summer of 2012, John was actually still with his then girlfriend of 2 and half years, Marlene.
… that beautiful 2-story house in CT was bought by Marlene for them to move in to.
… Marlene and John got into a big fight for reasons I didn’t know until November 2017 ( Stay tuned for this blog).
… Marlene could not get him to leave the house so she had to leave herself.
… John refused to leave because apparently, it’s too cold to move out in the winter. (Remember, we were officially in a relationship on New Year’s eve.)      
… He had also brought Lili to Marlene's house before my first visit. Lili is the woman from work he cheated on me with, who he said he only had a short “casual” relationship with before he even met me. Lili admitted to the casual dating, because she was not "really" available then.  She spent the night in this same house, but  she said it as if she was so disgusted with John.
… the guitar he used to play to sing songs to me to was actually a gift from Marlene. She also gave him guitar lessons gift certificate.

Now I know why it took 5 months and 7 dates. Looking at this timeline, it is clear, that at one point, there were 3 of us. Marlene and I had no idea. Or maybe Marlene did, that’s why she left. As for Lili, I can only assume she knew, because she did know about me when I was John's fiancee. I would say she knew about Marlene too, since they are both from the same area, and she has been working with John at his high power job, when Marlene was still John's girlfriend. What would you expect from a woman who has casual encounters with a co-worker, while she is still in a relationship? 
  •  Four years later, Lili tells me the truth about John. She bragged about having sex with John everywhere. That includes on a beach in Martha's Vineyard during a family vacation, and in their Main Street office...
  • The One Where I Was Plan B
  •  Lili showed me pictures of her and John when she "trapped" me in her office for 2 hours...The One With The Black Panther-
I always thought that despite how painful the relationship turned out to be, I have these good memories of and with John (Like Blog Archive- The One With The Musical: Valentine 1). I was not a damsel in distress who needed rescuing, but he certainly was my knight in shining armor. I waited for years and thought I finally met my prince charming. Instead, I still ended up with a sleazoid, a complete fraud. One who broke me, hurt my children and his own, when he decided to betray us all. His excuse (Spoiler Alert on future blog)-  "You don't know my feelings. You think you know me, but you don't." He was right. Because a few months later, everything unfolded. Thanks to scheming Lili and her selfish agenda. I did not know that the man I adored and admired  was this pretentious, selfish and cruel narcissist who was living a double life.

Oh, I also gave him a guitar  for a birthday/engagement present, a Martin guitar! And guess what he's doing with it now... (another spoiler alert) Lili said he  plays "my" guitar and sings songs to her. What would one expect? He gave Marlene's guitar to my daughter, Samantha.
See Blog Archive for more...

  • Now, to my readers… As heartbreaking as these may all sound, remember that my blog’s title is Bye Felicia, Hello Life. The “Hello Life” parts will be blogged about,  (some are already in “The One With The Piano” and “The One With The Summer Surprises.”)  But as writer Octavia Butler said, “ You don't start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap… thinking it's good stuff, and then gradually, you get better at it.”

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Comments

Marcie said…
Holy cow! What an uncomfortable situation! I'm so sorry this happened!
J. Ivy Boyter said…
Relationships can be so scary, but moving forward you have to find the ability not to place that emotional into your next relationship. I'm married, and I still sometimes struggle with the wrongs I experienced in the past. Good luck
Marysa said…
Sounds like a really complicated situation. Sorry to hear you had to deal with this!
Bellissimamma said…
I have been following your blog posts ever since you wrote a comment on my Valentine's post. Okay I am really intrigued with the Lea Salonga picture...is this a clue? Is she "Lili"? I want to know.
Hi Bellisima- If... when :-) my story makes it to the big screen, right now, I can only think of Constance Wu or Lea Salonga to play Felicia. Lili is not Lea. Lea is too classy to play her character. No offense to Dascha Polanca, but she can play Lili so well.
Tautiana Wright said…
I have to know what happens next. That's such a terrible experiece but WOW. I couldn't imagine.
The Honest Mom said…
oh man! All of your posts have me hooked! WHAT HAPPENS?!?!? I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this, but know that you are such a strong person!
Kat Califf said…
This sounds like such a complicated situation! I don't know what I'd do in your shoes!
Angie said…
So sorry you had to go through this. Seems like a very uncomfortable and traumatic situation to be in.
Ally said…
What a story! Are all of your blogs linked together? Will this continue to post in a story ? I would be very interested in reading the next segment/chapter.
Paula Hickel said…
You just never know what people will do when relationships end. Crazy.
Shelby said…
I am so so sorry to hear this. That is a rough situation to be in!
DASH Lifestyles said…
What a rough situation. Sorry you have to go through this!
Alecia said…
That sounds like an awful and exhausting situation. People are so confusing
Grace said…
WOW! I am so sorry you are in this situation! I will definitely be visiting to hear the rest!
Rosie Law said…
That is a crazy situation to be in the middle of. I am looking forward to what you do and he says about it.
Anonymous said…
Well Gulp*#@$! This ish sounds CRAZY!
jillian said…
wow this was a major cliff hanger!
Krista said…
Good thing you found out about all this before you got married! Geez!
Jessica said…
Wow such a confusing and sad situation. Exactly why I don't date!
Sam said…
Sam - Thiswaymommy
What an uncomfortable situation. My apologies that you had to go through that.
Life lessons are not always easy.
ingrid said…
You left me hanging. I want to know more.
Ashley Boyd said…
All that and he sends you a cleaning lady? Ughhh I want to know more...
Laurie said…
Wow... What a crazy story! I'm so sorry that you and your family had to go through that!
Charlietakesphx said…
WOW. I am so sorry this happened to you. A great take away, though for the future.
Rowena Daniels said…
I cannot wait to read your follow-up as I am still trying to take my jaw off the floor. All I can say is he has a lovely daughter but as fr him...words fail me. OMG!
amanda addison said…
You are a very good writer. For a first post I love it. HAte that you had to suffer though!
Yikes. Sometimes humans suck. I am sorry you had to walk through this
Jet said…
Such a dramatic relationship. So sorry that you've gone through all of this!
Rachael Drennan said…
I'm sorry this happened to you! You are a great writer though, you pulled me in and made me want to keep reading!
Anonymous said…
Not a nice situation to be in I'm sure. I hope things have improved for you.
Smitha Sunil said…
you are really brave and your style of writing is straight to the point. time to amputate any toxic relationship. no phones, no calls, no messages. an outright blocking is what we need sometimes.
Sew Many Pins said…
Thanks for sharing your story. You are brave to do so. I am sorry you had to go through this.
Ann Snook said…
It's so sad that you had to go through this. Thanks for sharing your story in an honest and entertaining way!
AiringMyLaundry said…
Oh my gosh, this is just crazy! I'm glad you are so open about it though. Toxic relationships are terrible.
Wow, what a soap opera you have going on. I hope you get your revenge.
Cristina Coroiu said…
Wow, this is so messed up. I'm sorry you had to go through this.
A Broom said…
WTF!?? Okay I am so confused. what happens. wait so are you still together? or did you end it? sorry about the 20 questions. i am so sorry you are going through all of this and just remember you are strong. and can do it!
momi berlin said…
My! The daughter doesnt like the new girlfriend. And why still keeping you when he has a new one?.is.he playing around with the new one only but he is more in love with you? But I just don't like his style of having you and even.introducing the new girl.to.his.daughter. can't wait for the continuation.
Cortney said…
WOW this is insane! Sorry this happened to you, but I'm so nosy I NEED to know what happens next!!!
Essi Hendrix said…
Wow! He is really playing the field on both sides. It seems that he really loves you and know you are good for him, that's why he still sends you the I love you messages and gifts. The new girl is just probably something to do in his spare time. Just move on and block him.
Explorilia said…
Well that is definitely an awkward situation. Was the cleaning lady there to help burn his stuff?
Shoni MunchTrip said…
Eeep! Creepy, confusing character he is. Aren't you blocking him on everything yet?
Ada said…
I'm ready to know more now...This sounds terrible though :/
karamel_kc said…
oh the drama! i would have blocked and deleted him on everything! it good to let it all out. thanks for the interesting read
Sorry to hear everything you are going through. It is so true sometimes we think we know people but we really do not.
You write well! I'm waiting for more! This story will touch so many who have Been deceived.
Laura Dove said…
Oh this has left me hanging! You have a real knack of drawing the reader in and leaving them waiting for more!
Pamela Rose said…
That is one unforgettable Mother’s Day! I read the rest of the story. I would think of it still as a present; saving you from a lifetime of pain. It looks lke John finally met his match, or maybe I should say, his karma. Oh well, birds of the same feather...

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