The One With My 1st Weekend in Hartford


DISCLAIMER:
These stories are inspired by Felicia’s colorful 2017. If the reader prefers, the short stories/blogs or parts of it may be regarded as fiction. But as Ernest Hemingway said, there is always the chance that fiction may throw some light on what has been regarded as fact.

The One With My 1st Weekend in Hartford

I’m hoping you have read some of past blogs already. Otherwise, you may be lost in this one. For a little background, I suggest to read blog entry, "The One When I Found Out"

John and I started going out late summer of 2012. He came up to Boston, or we met somewhere halfway between Hartford and Boston. It was usually dinner and movies, accompanied by the average getting-to-know-each-other conversations in the early phase of dating. I knew I was out of practice, but thought that after 7 dates, there will be a little bit more than a gentle kiss when it’s time to say goodbye. He seems a bit shy, but I also thought he was such a gentleman. It was not until December when we finally decided that we were “dating.” Yes, it took 5 months and 7 dates! After all, we lived 2 hours apart, so it took us a while to decide if this was worth investing our time in. At least, that is how I felt.
This day, 5 years ago, I posted 
‘Getting ready for a special weekend…” on Facebook. 
For the first time since our relationship became “official," I will be spending the weekend in John’s house in Connecticut. After all, the last 2 weekends, he drove up to Boston to come see me. He usually stays at a hotel since we just started dating, and I had not introduced him yet to my children. 

I  have not introduced any man to my children since we moved here in 2003. Samantha was just 3 years old and Bryan was 8 at that time. I was a happy and content single mom, and my children have always been my priority. I was very careful and I waited for the right time… for the right person.
I rode with a friend who was driving to Springfield, Massachusetts where I got dropped off. I was so excited to see John getting off his car, and then walking towards me. He looked so handsome sporting a new hair cut with that sharp line up, standing 5 ft. 10in tall in his lint-free black wool coat. He took my bag, opened the door for me and gave me a kiss just before I sat in the passenger seat of his car. The drive was smooth despite some icy roads. We drove by a school where he used to be the administrator at. How impressive is that! We talked and talked until we reached our destination. There was no awkward silence at all. I felt very comfortable. As we left the main streets and entered this quiet suburban neighborhood north of Hartford, I remember seeing some Christmas trees still waiting to be picked up on the sidewalk. I was expecting to see a small house, perhaps a unit in a multi-family home. After all, he is a bachelor and he told me he was just renting a place because it’s close to work. I was surprised as we drove by a 100-foot long circular driveway in front of a two-story,3-bedroom house surrounded by snow covered pine trees. We went in and walked towards the den. I finally got to see this "man-cave" where he took a video of himself singing “Good Riddance/Time of Your Life” by Green Day as he played his guitar for me. He made baked salmon on salad for dinner. It was delicious! We sang songs all night using his karaoke app on his Ipad. I can tell he was impressed that I can somehow sing, and even more impressed that I was singing songs he loves to listen to. It was a wonderful night. The next morning, I woke up to bacon, eggs and the most perfect pancakes! It certainly made me feel special. I said to myself, “Thank God, I waited!”

Fast forward to October 2017… 
Five months after John's daughter Nadine posted the "My dad's new girlfriend is here. Get me outta here. I hate her!" on social media (See Blog Archive-,The One When I Found Out)  I learned that…
 … in the summer of 2012, John was actually still with his then girlfriend of 2 and half years, Marlene.
… that beautiful 2-story house in CT was bought by Marlene for them to move in to.
… Marlene and John got into a big fight for reasons I didn’t know until November 2017 ( Stay tuned for this blog!).
… Marlene could not get him to leave the house so she had to leave herself.
… John refused to leave because apparently, it’s too cold to move out in the winter. (Remember, we were officially in a relationship on New Year’s eve.)      
… He had also brought Lili to Marlene's house before my first visit. Lili is the woman from work he cheated on me with, who he said he only had a short “casual” relationship with before he even met me. Lili admitted to the casual dating, because she was not "really" available then.  She spent the night in this same house, but  she said it as if she was so disgusted with John.
… the guitar he used to play to sing songs to me to was actually a gift from Marlene. She also gave him guitar lessons gift certificate.

Now I know why it took 5 months and 7 dates. Looking at this timeline, it is clear, that at one point, there were 3 of us. Marlene and I had no idea. Or maybe Marlene did, that’s why she left. As for Lili, I can only assume she knew, because she did know about me when I was John's fiancee. I would say she knew about Marlene too, since they are both from the same area, and she has been working with John at his high power job, when Marlene was still John's girlfriend. What would you expect from a woman who has casual encounters with a co-worker, while she is still in a relationship? 

  • See Blog Archive- The One Where I Was Plan B- Four years later, Lili tells me the truth about John. She bragged about having sex with John everywhere. That includes on a beach in Martha's Vineyard during a family vacation, and in their Main Street office. Lili showed me pictures of her and John when she "trapped" me for 2 hours in her office. (Blog Archive, The One With The Black Panther) 

I always thought that despite how painful the relationship turned out to be, I have these good memories of and with John (Also see Blog Archive- The One With The Musical: Valentine 1). I was not a damsel in distress who needed rescuing, but he certainly was my knight in shining armor. I waited for years and thought I finally met my prince charming. Instead, I still ended up with a sleazoid, a complete fraud. One who broke me, hurt my children and his own, when he decided to betray us all. His excuse (Spoiler Alert on future blog)-  "You don't know my feelings. You think you know me, but you don't." He was right. Because a few months later, everything unfolded. Thanks to scheming Lili and her selfish agenda(See blog entry-The One With The Black Panther). I did not know that the man I adored and admired  was this pretentious, selfish and cruel narcissist who was living a double life.
Oh, I also gave him a guitar  for a birthday/engagement present, a Martin guitar! And guess what he's doing with it now... (another spoiler alert) Lili said he  plays "my" guitar and sings songs to her. What would one expect? He gave Marlene's guitar to my daughter, Samantha.

To be continued- The One When I Was Plan B

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  • Now, to my readers… As heartbreaking as these may all sound, remember that my blog’s title is Bye Felicia, Hello Life. The “Hello Life” parts will be blogged about,  (some are already in “The One With The Piano” and “The One With The Summer Surprises.”)  But as writer Octavia Butler said, “ You don't start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap… thinking it's good stuff, and then gradually, you get better at it.”


Comments

Yvonne said…
Very interesting, incredibly awesome story until the fast forward part. Beautifully written. He is definitely a fraud that took advantage of a sweet, loving, romantic person. You’re story invokes a lot of emotions, I can almost feel the hurting, almost like getting punched in the chest and I just wasn’t able to stop myself from crying. But this are the kind of stories I really wanna read, stories that will make me cry. I feel relaxed somehow after crying and I feel relief after. But I thought stories likes these should be in pocket books and not in real life. I don’t think anyone deserves to be treated the way that douche treated you... love reading your story though, the pizzas and sassiness of how it was written makes it incredibly interesting to read. Will definitely follow you till the end...
Yvonne said…
Your story is sad but beautifully written, fascinating to read. Certainly invokes a lot of emotions. Now I confess that I am officially accicted to your blog. It’s like wanting to have that cup of coffee everyday to get your day started. How I wish you would post one everyday then I get my daily dose. Looking forward to more readings of your post.
Anonymous said…
Ms. Felicia , you make broken beautiful ! Just to describe how I felt first time I read your blog , is this way - when I watched the movie “ Titanic “ way back 1997 , I was so sad and emotionally traumatized for more than three days , that I can’t get to watch it again to this date . Most of us had been in such situations , one way or the other , and these bad relationships that comes in our lives puts us directly to the best things that will happen to us ! Kudos for saying , Hello life !!!!! - APC- FB user
Anonymous said…
This speaks to the heart of anyone who has ever had their heart ripped in two. Thank you for being brave in writing about your heartache and triumph! - CFB- FB User
Thank you. I am in a better place now, but still have a lot to write. And I quote Octavia Butler- “You don't start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it's good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it.
That's why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.”
Rose Mont said…
I am at a loss where this story turned left. I know that men are overrated sometimes and it's just easier to depend on ourselves to make ourselves happy. I'm sorry their were children involved in his stupid shennanigans.
Joy of Romeo said…
Dating as a single mom is so tough! I appreciate you for being so genuine and raw. There is so much beauty when a victim becomes a victor! Stay strong mama!
balfeo said…
This guy is terrible! What the heck!
I'm so sorry for all of your pain! Bless you for sharing your story with others!!
Cait Elisabeth said…
wow this is crazy - guys are so dumb lol
Jeanette said…
I can totally relate about being scared to meet new men as a single mom. My son was only a year or so old when I met my husband. I was content with being a single mom and having all the control over my son's life plus my freedom! Enjoy your life girl. I love your writing style - it's so inviting and keeps me reading <3
MJ W said…
The thing about narcissists is that they don't give a dam who they hurt by their actions. Everything centers around them and their inflated ego. Karma is a bitch and one day he will get his while you continue to shine and achieve great things!
Anonymous said…
I am so sorry you had to go through this. Some people are just awful! Thank you for opening up and sharing your story. Beautifully written :)
Wow, such an impactful story to read! It takes a lot to open up like this. Impactful.
Jenna said…
I’m so sorry you went through this! Thank you for sharing your story. ♥️
Joan Cajic said…
This was really sad and I am sorry for going through this.
Annreeba Joy said…
Your story is sad but beautifully written, fascinating to read. I Enjoyed a lot reading your story., but I am so sorry you had to go through this in your life.
AiringMyLaundry said…
Oh my, I am so sorry you had to go through this. That guy sounds like a jerk. I hope Karma gets to him.
Elaine said…
I just can't believe there are guys out there like this?! That is just awful! Thank you for sharing such a super vulnerable time in your life!!
Cortney said…
You are a strong woman, and even stronger for having the courage to share your story. I hope you only have wonderful days ahead!
Mom Knows Best said…
He sounded so perfect. Sorry to hear that this happened to you. Hope a better guy comes your way.
Aashima said…
Love the way you write. You are a strong person, hope you have a smooth and peaceful life ahead. Some people are just worthless and total jerks.
You are such a strong person and this was a hard story to read. I am so sorry you had to go through such things.
Champayne said…
Wow, he was a terrible person. It's sad that someone who has a daughter can do this woman. Speaking about it is a good way of overcoming it.
Evelyn F said…
An unfolding dramatic story of life, love and heartache. May all this lead you on a blessed path of knowing who you are and the strength within you!
A Broom said…
WOW. This truly did impact me and speak into my own life. You are such a wonderful and incredibly strong women. Thank you so much for getting so naked and sharing this all with us.
Wanda Lopez said…
Beautifully written and beautifully said. Your attitude radiates love. I'm so sorry bad things happen to good people.
So sad that people still have to deal with things like this. This was such a touching story.It may seem like the worst things happen to people who don't deserve, but they only make us stronger. Thanks for sharing.
Melani said…
I admire that you want to share your personal relationship. You are a very brave woman. That is not easy for most of people especially the introverts.
Echo A said…
Thank you so much for being strong enough to share your stories.
Jennifer L. said…
What a very sad but poignant story about love, betrayal and loss. I love the ending and the hopeful sentiments about moving on from heartache.
LaToyia Dennis said…
OMGoodness what an emotional story. That took guts and I am so glad you shared. We've all experienced pain, you handled it well. Stay positive.
Wow, that was in intense story!
I really love the way you put everything in this form and make it so interesting for the reader to go on. Would love reading more of these! :)
Thanks for sharing this. SO sorry for your pain. Remember there is always a rainbow after the rain.
Alecia said…
This whole story is to crazy to me. I'm a brutally honest person, largely because I don't have the patience to keep track of lies. I don't understand how anyone can live and keep track of so many lives! I found out my exhusband was doing something similar and finally walked away after 2 kids and 10 years. I have a new boyfriend now and it's wild how relaxing it is to have a partner that isn't cheating and lying to me

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