"The One When I was a Trumpster"

DISCLAIMER:
These stories are inspired by Felicia’s colorful 2017. If the reader prefers, the short stories/blogs or parts of it may be regarded as fiction. But as Ernest Hemingway said, there is always the chance that fiction may throw some light on what has been regarded as fact.

I am hoping you have read some of my past blogs already. Otherwise, you may be lost in this one. For a little background, I suggest to read blog entry, "The One When I Spent My First Weekend in Hartford."

The One When I Was A Trumpster"

(Note: This is not political post. John and our kids always tease me how obsessed I am with current events since the elections. I do not deny it. And I am going to use that to have some fun as I reflect on my days with John)



I accepted John’s proposal of marriage not just because I  loved him, but  I thought we were very  compatible. I truly believed he was the one. We shared many interests, from music to movies, to our passion for education and of course, our teen-aged children. We also shared a dislike of many things. Now, I question if those interests and dislikes of him were even real, or were those all just part of his big act? 
The one thing I know we still share to this day is our dislike of Donald Trump. When we were still together, we had numerous conversations about politics, particularly the 2016 presidential elections. That dreadful morning in November 9th 2016, I woke up with a heavy heart.  John texted me that he too woke up sick in his stomach. I wished John and I were together when the results came out, because like for many others, that was a difficult and sad morning to wake up to. But then again, I did not know John was already waking up next to someone else.
Trump and the Nicknames
As much as John “hated” Donald Trump, I didn’t realize until now how similar their personalities are, at least in some aspects.  For example, you know how Trump has names for his adversaries, like Crooked Hilary, Lying Ted, Little Marco, Pocahontas and Little Rocket Man? I picked this Trump trait first, because John had adjectives for many of his exes(Spoiler Alert: “The One With The Exes”). There was Evil Emma, Freaky April and Crazy Krystal. He described Marlene as being too miserable and Saychelle was selfish and self-absorbed. Even Lili had a name. It was Silly Lili. Although, I think I was the one who came up with that name, only because when I asked him what his name for Lili was, he said “She does not count, she wasn’t even a girlfriend. It was casual.” But then, Lili ended up to be more than a “co-worker with benefits.”
Before August 2017, I thought Lili was John’s Steve Bannon. They both have dark secrets and they both lie...a lot. Trump kept Bannon in the White House even if Ivanka, Jared and the Trump sons hate Bannon. John's family doesn't like Lili. I can't blame them. They found out Lili set me and John up in the office. Nadine hates Lili with a passion, and yet John didn't mind Lili moving in to his house, and didn't even bother discussing this with his children.  This really made me think Lili was John's Steve Bannon, but then Trump ended up firing Bannon and gave him the name “Sloppy Steve.” Apparently,  Steve Bannon could not win in the White House because he was too much like Trump. So I guess Lili is not Bannon. As much as Lili is so much  like John, it seems like she knows how to work him, despite revealing her true colors, despite the family not liking her, despite her dark past. Emma once told me, "John found himself a woman more devious and more manipulative than he is."  Well, in that case, then I guess Lili is more like a Putin to John's Trump.


One of the things Lili told me in her office on that dreadful day in November 2017, was that she was aware of all the nicknames, because he told her about them as well. She’s even aware that her name was “Silly Lili.” I asked her, “What was mine?” I can’t help but think it’s Fairy tale Felicia or Foolish Felicia. After all, everything was right in front of my nose and I still missed it. Lili said, John didn’t have a nickname for me at all. And that every time he talked about me to her, it’s always about lack of compatibility. I did not believe her. I said “There must be one for me, because there was one for all of you.” Lili insisted there was none and she also said it as if I was that unimportant. Again, she said John just always told her how incompatible we were with each other, nothing more. 
Despite the fact that John and I come from very different backgrounds, our love and passion for the same things made me think I really found my soulmate.  We spoke the same language, whether it was about movies, music or about our jobs. When I said FERPA or NEASC, and  he said PD, IEP, experiential learning, we understood what the other meant.  We even had similar struggles with our teenage children.  We shared many interests and had never run out of things to talk about. You can imagine my shock and pain each time Lili shared John’s sentiments about our “incompatibility.”
John also mentioned a few more exes, like Marie, or was that Mary? There was also a Cheryl, or maybe Sheri, the one he cheated on with Bonnie from high school. He admitted to that, but then he also said, “That was in high school. I was young and stupid, and she moved to another state. That was the only time I cheated.” There were many more, but I did not take these conversations in a negative way. You see, instead of questioning John’s character, I took it as him being very honest and comfortable with me. I was his friend, and I was “the one.” 
 Trump and Ms. Universe
Many times in the past, we talked about his exes, particularly how “diverse” his selection was. His response was always the same- “I don’t discriminate. I give everyone equal opportunity.” Of course this was a joke, a smarty pants response which we always enjoyed giving each other. See, when you love someone, you don’t overanalyze their jokes and conclude that it was always a reflection of character. Now, when I think about that statement, which I probably heard from John at least 10 times, I see Donald Trump parading his Ms. Universe contestants.

Trump and the Women
Each time John showed me a picture of an ex, my reaction was always, “she’s beautiful,” “she looks like a model,” “Pretty!”  John’s response to me was always, “I don’t date ugly women.” Again, 
I took this as another harmless tease between the two of us. Also, I found it flattering. After all, I was the one he proposed to. Remember when Trump denied one of his accusers because, apparently, she looked horrible (unattractive) and that she was not his type? 
  • Spoiler Alert: When I asked Nadine if this woman was pretty(I didn’t know  yet that it was Lili), Nadine said with an “Eww” expression on her face, “Nooo! Her eyes are weird and she looks very shady.” Months later,  John’s cousin Amy said the same thing, “Not pretty at all, which was surprising to us because we know John’s type.” Amy said that Evan, John’s young nephew thought Lili was the pizza delivery lady.  I know this seems childish, and no disrespect to pizza ladies, I’m just quoting little Evan.  Evil Emma (who I like) would disagree though. Emma thinks Lili looks like a donkey. 😉

Remember when the "Access Hollywood" tape emerged in which Trump boasted that stardom allowed him  “access” to many women? Well, John did not do this, but he did always bragged about how the women at work always complimented his appearance, whether it’s his outfits or his new haircut, that he is the “flirtee” of the many women at work who flirt with him.  Of course back then, I took these as harmless jokes between the two of us. Maybe he was just trying to tell me that I got myself a stud.

Trump fires Tillerson on Twitter

So I guess I didn’t have a nickname. Well, Donald Trump did not give his former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson a nickname. Tillerson and Trump had a lot of things in common, they are both Republicans, both wealthy, both businessmen, and yet, he fired Tillerson… on Twitter. I was not “fired” on Twitter though, but I did find out on Instagram. See blog entry, “The One When I Found Out-” when I found out from my daughter Samantha when she asked me about Nadine’s confusing Instagram post that Mother’s Day weekend in 2017. Yes, John hates Trump with a passion, yet their similarities are uncanny. Below is a transcript of Trump’s statements when he fired his buddy Rex Tillerson, except, I changed the name Trump to John, and Tillerson to Felicia because I can see John saying the same things, in an attempt to hide the truth behind what happened to us.
John(Trump): I actually got along well with Felicia(Tillerson). But really it was a different mindset. It was a different thinking.
John(Trump): I respect the process that we’ve all gone through together. We have a very good relationship… And frankly, I get along well with Felicia(Tillerson). As you know, I wish Felicia(Tillerson) a lot of good things. I think she’s going to do — I think she’s going to be very happy. I think Felicia(Tillerson) will be much happier now. But I really appreciate her service.

Trump and the Blame Game
I’ve been told to question the character of a person who speaks ill of their ex. I do think talking about an ex doesn’t always signal relationship doom. In fact, it can help build a solid foundation for your current relationship. It is only now that I realize John didn’t talk about his past relationships that way. He implied it was all their fault, hence, the nicknames, miserable, selfish, crazy, etc. I guess our failed relationship was my fault too.  This again made me think of another Trump personality trait. Do you know that if you start typing “Trump blames” on your search bar, Google will start giving you options of -
· “Trump blames Obama for shutdown”
· “Trump blames Puerto Ricans for slow hurricane response”
· “Trump blames Jeff Sessions for Moore’s loss”
· “Trump blames Steve Bannon for Democrat Doug Jones’ win”
· “Trump blames Democrats, when he signed a bill he said he will never sign again”
· “Trump blames FBI for Florida school shooting”
· “Trump blames Dems for DACA fail?”
Trump is a Nice Guy
In Trump's most recent book, Crippled America, he wrote "I'm a really nice guy. Believe me, I pride myself on being a nice guy. Trump also said “I’m a good guy” in many of his rallies and interviews. This reminded me of a time when John was insisting to come to Boston to see me. (Note: This was late in 2016, when John was already very distant and unavailable to me, but somehow still playing the game of “You don’t understand. I’m just in a difficult place right now, but I still love you”). 

 I did not hear from him until the next day, when I got the usual, “Good morning, beautiful” text message.
“I will never forget this exchange. I didn’t know what he meant by “You will regret this!!!” until the following year. The only thing I regret is not leaving sooner.
Trump and Melania
In the morning of his 2017 swearing-in ceremony, Trump didn’t wait for Melania— or help her out of the car, or take her arm —before charging up the White House steps to greet former President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle. Instead, Melania walked up alone, a few paces behind her husband, with the box in her hands. This scene reminded me of coming up to John’s house holding my bags of my usual presents(food favorites!), with John walking ahead of me, while David and Nadine opened and held the door, welcomed me with hugs and helped me with my bags. Although John and I used to walk side-by-side and hand-in-hand , this changed after about 2 years. He started complaining of how I walked so slow and that I was doing it on purpose. In fact, when I found out about his “Mr. Hyde,” I found his Pinterest account, which apparently he used to share horoscope quotes, provocative slogans and naughty images with Lili (Spoiler Alert: The One With The Pinterest”). I felt a pinch in my heart when I read his comment of “So true!!!” on this particular pin.
(BLOG UPDATE: A reader informed me that Donald Trump is also a Gemini! That, I didn't know) 


Trump and Twitter
Speaking of Pinterest, John is definitely addicted to social media, just like Trump is obsessed with his Twitter account.  The past 2 years, he was constantly on his phone. I only had Facebook, but he wanted me to open a Snapchat and Instagram accounts and download different apps. He liked sending those emojis, bitmojis and photos with filters. Even when he was at his meetings, I get GIF’s and memes from him, and yes, the same Gemini quotes he was sending to Lili. I did not take his phone “addiction” against him. I thought it was cute, honest and a way to keep us together even if we were 100 miles apart.

Trump and the White House
John sent me many pictures of him while at work, sometimes, even when he was at meetings. I got messages like “I have to fire someone today. This sucks.” “I’m stuck here trying to cut 6.5 million from the budget!” Somehow, I was proud that my man had a very important job, even if it was a job he hated. John often talked to me about  the politics that goes on in his place of work. Again, I thought of this as him being an honorable man. He shared these stories with me  as if he felt so bad. He expressed his sadness each time his boss asked him to fire someone in the office, sometimes, people who don’t even report to him. It’s almost like he was the best person to say “You’re fired.” I’m sure he did it in a non-Donald Trump way though. John had a professional demeanor and was always good with words. I thought that was considerate of him. I knew he did not enjoy this part of his job. He had been telling me for years that he wanted to leave. He hated his job. He hated many of his co-workers, his boss, and the politics. Now I think, it was pretty much like the White House.  I actually felt bad for him. I always get messages like  "Find me a job!" "This place sucks." 
“I fn hate this place!" Does John really hate his job?  He said the only thing that makes him stay is the money, until I realized later, there were other “perks” of the job he found very convenient. All that time, I thought his very demanding job was the big stressor of our relationship. It was. I just did not realize it was going beyond his office hours.


"Trump and Ivanka"
John adores his daughter Nadine, as much as Trump adores Ivanka. However, I am cutting this one short, because unlike Ivanka, though Nadine loves her father, she would not defend him on his shenanigans. She would not cover up his lies to make him look good. In fact, the only reason she did not tell me it was Lili all along, was because I didn't ask her, and because she knew it would hurt 100x more because it was obvious to her that there was a bigger story behind the "not-so-new" girlfriend. Unlike Ivanka, Nadine is compassionate, does not bow easily, and her love for her father does not mean not having a mind her own.

Alternative Facts” 
Trump’s critics say he is a pathologic liar, that his lying isn’t just a tactic, but an ingrained habit. John once told me, “Trump lies all the time. And the problem is, he believes his own lies.” Now I see the hypocrisy in this as I believe John is the same.  I realized how many lies John had told me in the last 4 years or so.  But then he is also one who will deny his own lies till the very end.  And if he ever gets a chance to defend this,  John would  give the same response he had been giving me the last 4 years, “Not telling the truth is not the same as telling a lie.” I guess this is the equivalent of Kellyanne Conaway’s “alternative facts.” 
More than once I found a few women accessories in his (our) bedroom. His answer  was either, “It could be Nadine’s,” or “You know I have a daughter.” If you think about it, “technically” he was not lying. Again, his motto was, “Not telling the truth is not the same as telling a lie.” I still did not doubt him. Nadine sometimes left her things in his dad’s room, just like my Samantha usually left her clothes and make-up in my bedroom. If  only I took a closer look at those items, it was pretty easy to tell they were not Nadine’s. But then, that was a time where I felt secure of John’s love and loyalty. In fact, once I jokingly said, “I hope you’re not inviting someone over when I’m not around. Long distance relationships are tough.” His answer was, “ Are you kidding me? With my schedule and type of work, I couldn’t even keep up with one girlfriend! And do you know how expensive that would be? I would be so drained!” Like any trusting partner, I believed him. His last statements made me feel guilty I even asked.



“Fake News”
In a way, I became a “Trumpster”of John. I believed everything he said, even those that now I think were actually too obvious for any woman with a cerebrum. I was oblivious to logic and to his lies, and there are too many to recall, with some deserving of their own short story. The rare times I asked him about something that did not make sense, I got a response of “You are wrong!” Now, I realize that was John’s equivalent of Trump’s “Fake News!” And if I get a response of  “You are wrong on so many levels,” then that was the equivalent of Trump’s, “That’s very very fake news!”

Before you comment, please note that this post was not meant to be political.
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Now, to my readers… As sad as these may all sound, remember that my blog’s title is Bye Felicia, Hello Life. The “Hello Life” parts will be blogged about,  (some are already in “The One With The Piano” and “The One With The Summer Surprises.”)  But as writer Octavia Butler said, “ You don't start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap… thinking it's good stuff, and then gradually, you get better at it.”

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Comments

Anonymous said…
Good thing you were not trapped with a "trump"
Anonymous said…
It’s super good. You connected truth to your story. You weave Trump to the storyline really well. - B.A.L.
Anonymous said…
I really like this one! It was really smart comparing the two. I thought it was good- to understand better about the story. This one is deep and made me want to read more. And now I will think about John when I see Trump news
Marjie Mare said…
I am glad you directed me in your previous post as that helped me understand this post. Very interesting!
Meagan Emmons said…
I love that as raw as your emotions are, you kept that air of funny to your post. I’ve been in that long distance relationship that ended in cheating and lies andnit sucks. Hoping your brighter days come soon
Cammeo Murray said…
So crazy what a turn of events this has all been and hope you’re finding that writing about it helps - I love reading them!
ohmummymia said…
Is your husband happy to be compared to Trump :D? I love that post it's something cute in it:)
Anonymous said…
If he reads this and hates Trump as much as you do, this will drive him crazy . LOL
Ally said…
I love how you wove their similar personality traits into one story. If he really is not that big of a trump fan I bet he would hate to read this and see how similar you think they both are!
Julie Plagens said…
Well, both of them don't know how to treat women. It is so frustrating they both don't have a clue that they are not God. I do like a lot of Trumps policies because he is pro Christian. I am not sure your ex is...
Nadj Villaver said…
very interesting article. At first I thought it will be about a political post, but turns out there's a twist in the article.
Chef Mireille said…
well I refuse to say the name as it will destroy my karma but I'm glad you were able to find some humor at least
Kaitlyn said…
Such interesting comparison! And all in good humor. Good post!
Wander With Ola said…
Wow this is such an interesting article! The chat screenshot was so funny, looking at how quick "You will regret this" turned to "Good morning, beautiful"!
momi berlin said…
I dont really like.John for you, perhaps because I read that post wherein.he is dating someone and he is still with you. Anyway, I dont like John for you.. nor.do I like Lili. But I love how you narrate things.
I will definitely be curious to see where you go from here. I get that we have to go through the negative to get to the positive and that's important. And that's great you have moved on.
Pamela Gilbert said…
This John is really something! Can you follow this up with the Stormy Daniels story??

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