The One With My 1st Weekend in Hartford

DISCLAIMER:

These stories are inspired by Felicia’s colorful 2017. If the reader prefers, the short stories/blogs or parts of it may be regarded as fiction. But as Ernest Hemingway said, there is always the chance that fiction may throw some light on what has been regarded as fact.

The One With My 1st Weekend in Hartford

I’m hoping you have read some of past blogs already. Otherwise, you may be lost in this one. For a little background, I suggest to read blog entry, "The One When I Found Out"

John and I started going out late summer of 2012. He came up to Boston, or we met somewhere halfway between Hartford and Boston. It was usually dinner and movies, accompanied by the average getting-to-know-each-other conversations in the early phase of dating. I knew I was out of practice, but thought that after 7 dates, there will be a little bit more than a gentle kiss on the cheek when it was time to say goodbye. He seemed a bit shy, but I also thought he was such a gentleman. It was not until December when we finally decided that we were “dating.” Yes, it took 5 months and 7 dates! After all, we lived 2 hours apart, so it took us a while to decide if this was worth investing our time in. At least, that is how I felt.

This day, 5 years ago, I posted 
‘Getting ready for a special weekend…” on Facebook. 

For the first time since our relationship became “official," I will be spending the weekend in John’s house in Connecticut. After all, the last 2 weekends, he drove up to Boston to come see me. He usually stays at a hotel since we just started dating, and I had not introduced him yet to my children. 

I  had not introduced any man to my children since we moved here in 2003. My Samantha was just 3 years old and Bryan was 8 at that time. I was a happy and content single mom, and my children have always been my priority. I was very careful and I waited for the right time… for the right person.

I rode with a friend who was driving to Western Massachusetts where I got dropped off. I was so excited to see John getting off his car, and then walking towards me. He looked so handsome sporting a new hair cut with a sharp line up, standing 5 feet 10 inches tall, in his lint-free black wool coat. He took my bag, opened the door for me and gave me a kiss just before I sat in the passenger seat of his car. The drive was smooth despite some icy roads. We drove by a school in Springfield where he used to be the principal at. How impressive is that! We talked and talked until we reached our destination. There was no awkward silence at all. I felt very comfortable. As we left the main streets and entered this quiet suburban neighborhood north of Hartford, I remember seeing some Christmas trees still waiting to be picked up on the sidewalk. I was expecting to see a small house, perhaps a unit in a multi-family home. After all, he is a bachelor and he told me he was just renting a place because it was close to work. I was surprised as we drove by a 100-foot long circular driveway in front of a two-story,3-bedroom house surrounded by snow covered pine trees. We went in and walked towards the den. I finally got to see this "man-cave" where he took a video of himself singing “Good Riddance/Time of Your Life” by Green Day as he played his guitar for me. He made baked salmon on salad for dinner. It was delicious! We sang songs all night using his karaoke app on his Ipad. I can tell he was impressed that I can somehow sing, and even more impressed that I was singing songs he loves to listen to. It was a wonderful night. The next morning, I woke up to bacon, eggs and the most perfect pancakes! It certainly made me feel special. I said to myself, “Thank God, I waited!”

Fast forward to October 2017… 
Five months after John's daughter Nadine posted the "My dad's new girlfriend is here. Get me outta here. I hate her!" on social media (See Blog Archive-,The One When I Found Out)  I learned that…

 … in the summer of 2012, John was actually still with his then girlfriend of 2 and half years, Marlene.

… that beautiful 2-story house in CT was bought by Marlene for them to move in to.

… Marlene and John got into a big fight for reasons I didn’t know until November 2017 ( Stay tuned for this blog!).

… Marlene could not get him to leave the house so she had to leave herself.

… John refused to leave because apparently, it’s too cold to move out in the winter. (Remember, we were officially in a relationship on New Year’s eve.)      

… He had also brought Lili to Marlene's house before my first visit. Lili is the woman from work he cheated on me with, who he said he only had a short “casual” relationship with before he even met me. Lili admitted to the casual dating, because she was not "really" available then.  She spent the night in this same house, but  she said it as if she was so disgusted with John.

… the guitar he used to play to sing songs to me to was actually a gift from Marlene. She also gave him guitar lessons gift certificate.

Now I know why it took 5 months and 7 dates. Looking at this timeline, it is clear, that at one point, there were 3 of us. Marlene and I had no idea. Or maybe Marlene did, that was why she left. As for Lili, I can only assume she knew, because she did know about me when I was John's fiancee. I would say she knew about Marlene too, since they were both from the same area, and she had been working with John, when Marlene was still John's girlfriend. What would you expect from a woman who has casual encounters with a co-worker, while she was still in a relationship with someone else? 

• See Blog Archive- The One Where I Was Plan B- Four years later, Lili tells me the truth about John. She bragged about having sex with John everywhere. That includes on a beach in Martha's Vineyard during a family vacation, and in their Main Street office. Lili showed me pictures of her and John when she "trapped" me for 2 hours in her office. (Blog Archive, The One With The Black Panther) 

I always thought that despite how painful the relationship turned out to be, I have these good memories of and with John (Also see Blog Archive- The One With The Musical: Valentine 1). I was not a damsel in distress who needed rescuing, but he certainly was my knight in shining armor. I waited for years and thought I finally met my prince charming. Instead, I still ended up with a sleazoid, a complete fraud. One who broke me, hurt my children and his own, when he decided to betray us all. His excuse (Spoiler Alert on future blog)-  "You don't know my feelings. You think you know me, but you don't." He was right. Because a few months later, everything unfolded. Thanks to scheming Lili and her selfish agenda(See blog entry-The One With The Black Panther). I did not know that the man I adored and admired  was this pretentious, selfish and cruel narcissist who was living a double life.

Oh, I also gave him a guitar  for a birthday/engagement present, a Martin guitar! And guess what he's doing with it now... (another spoiler alert) Lili said he  plays "my" guitar and sings songs to her. What would one expect? He gave Marlene's guitar to my daughter, Samantha.

To be continued- The One When I Was Plan B

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• 
  Now, to my readers… As heartbreaking as these may all sound, remember that my blog’s title is Bye Felicia, Hello Life. The “Hello Life” parts will be blogged about,  (some are already in “The One With The Piano” and “The One With The Summer Surprises.”)  But as writer Octavia Butler said, “ You don't start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap… thinking it's good stuff, and then gradually, you get better at it.”